Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Sunday, June 15, 2008

..father's day...

Its quite be along tyme im not writing here..its fathers day today..i called him n wish ‘happy father’s day”..its hurt?!yes it was..it is…feel like im missing sumthing in my life..its him..
Last nyte..i ws really scared..aku pun tak tahu kenapa..i ws all alone..sitting on my bed n crying..thinking bout everything…how im gonna fix everything? I cant..i cant…I dunno wut to do..or anyone dat I can speak to…how I miss him so much…after all hes my father…wuteva happened ..nothing will change dat fact..

Abg balik umah smalam..i dunno y..early in da morning I got msg from my sis..talking bout my awards day..my graduation day..deep inside my heart its really hurt..i dun care if I dun have a new dress for dat day..i dun care if I dun have any heels for my dress..i really wanna both of them to be there…looking at me..im ur daughter n today im gonna make u proud..but nothing will change…im alone…u might have no idea how hard for me..to cheat him bout my awards day…I told him its nothing n he doesn’t need to be there..only God knows how much I want him to be there…

Ayah sent me msg..thanx for remembering n wishing him happy fathers day..ayah…I really want u to noe..how much I miss u…how hard I really want to hug u say dat I luv u..i miss everything..all da memories together…plz dun forget everything bout us…I miss my home..every corner in dat house..there were memories between us..i miss to play badminton together..help u clean up our house..singing while u r playing da piano..ur stories…everything..n now there is barrier between us…I cant reach u anymore..

U know how hard it is?seeing u with them?...tears me into pieces….
I dun have anybody…its mum..shila..emi..akak..abg…n no one else..its hard to pretend dat im strong when the whole world knows dat im not…ayah tahu apa yg anak ayah nie doakan setiap malam?..waktu org len tido…anak ayah nie bgn..solat..qiamulail..berdoa..if I can turn back the time..n fix everything….no one will be hurt..u ..mum..n everyone..

Ain tahu..ain byk salah ngan ayah…demi Tuhan..ain xpernah bermaksud macam tue…Ain terpaksa pertahankan mak..adik2….ayah pun tahu kebenarannya….maafkan ain ayah…ain sayangkan ayah…
Im crying..u noe how ugly when ur daughter is crying..im look bad!...but when it comes to u..i cant help myself..but crying…I dun have anybody to talk…im alone…no one will eva care bout me..my feeling…including myself..im too busy thinking bout others..bout mum..bout emi..shila….kalo ain ada rezeki dapat fly….dapat pergi negara org…ain harap ain dapat peluk ayah dekat airport…ain sayangkan ayah..suma org sayangkan ayah..emi..shila..abg..kak aziah…ayah tahu betapa risau hati anak2 ayah nie bila tahu ayah sakit…kami sayangkan ayah…apa yg terjadi mungkin membataskan kami tuk ungkapkan betapa kami sayangkan ayah..tp percayalah ayah…kami ttp sayangkan ayah..Happy Father's Day...may Allah bless you

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